Terror In The Aisles 13–wow, it’s hard to believe I’ve been going to these things for two years now–was held at the (Save The) Portage Theater in Chicago on Friday, November 30. The three features were Brian Yuzna’s Society, Dario Argento’s The Bird With The Crystal Plumage and Phantasm, but we (me and my friend Meg–hi Meg!–who is the blonde woman who shows up in some of my event photos) ended up skipping Phantasm.

I had a great time (and finally met another local blogger, Nicki from Hey! Look Behind You!, who also attends the Movieside events) and ended up liking everything I saw. I’m a bit pressed for time this week, and full-length reviews of Society and Crystal Plumage will run next week, so in this article I’m only covering the short films I saw.

* * *

Capsule reviews don’t have individual ratings this time; everything gets a “pro.”

* * *

Air Conditions (Ryan Oliver, 2012)

Wow.

Seriously, just…wow.

Every so often you see a film so good that it  just defies your ability to describe how good it is, and this is one of them. Describing the basic setup–that it’s about an AC repairman who gets trapped on the roof of an old building in a bad neighborhood, by a strange man whose behavior becomes increasingly bizarre–doesn’t do it justice. I cannot think of a single flaw with this film: great story, performances, atmosphere, suspense, effects, photography, score (the score is incredible)…the one issue I think people might have with it is that the beginning of the film is a bit of a slow burn, but the payoff is worth it.

Bottom line: this is the real deal, folks. This is what horror is for.

* * *

Fake trailer for Una chiave di ghiaccio in un campo di lillà (Jason Coffman as “Diego Larraz”, 2012)

This is Jason Coffman’s third film to run at a Movieside event–Tape ran at Terror 11 and The Secret Cinema ran at Massacre 2012–and over the past six or so months, I’ve come to see the Rabbit Room Productions name as a sign of quality, much as I have with the Lowcarbcomedy name. Coffman’s latest–which purports to be the trailer from a lost giallo by a forgotten filmmaker–is no disappointment. Una chiave di ghiaccio… turns out to be a supreme exercise in style, dark and sensual, with a soundtrack featuring Goblin and Stelvio Cipriani. If you missed films about sadistic killers wearing black leather driving gloves, here’s yer movie. It’s enough to make you wish it really was a feature film…

* * *

Music video: “The Devil’s Orchard,” by Opeth (Phil Mucci, 2011)

This one’s from the band’s latest effort, Heritage. I had heard of Opeth before–their lead singer/songwriter did some work with Steven Wilson of Porcupine Tree, a band I’m a casual fan of–but I’d never actually heard them before. I was impressed enough with the song and the video that I actually bought the album. As with Una chiave di ghiaccio…, the video has a bit of a ’70s-retro vibe, a freaky sort of demonic psychedelic thing going on, kinda like you bought acid from Satan and you had a bad trip from it. Not advised for epileptics.

* * *

Jason Voorhees: Personal Trainer (Zoran Gvojic, 2012)

This is the same short as Unhealthy Doug, which ran at Massacre 2012. I still liked it. And Gvojic’s finally uploaded it to YouTube so I can share it with you. Go Gvojic!

* * *

I did, once again, manage to miss Jason Eisener’s Treevenge. Don’t know why that keeps happening.

The next Movieside event will be the Sci-Fi Spectacular 7, which will be held on March 9, 2013. I’m definitely planning to be there. Seeya later!

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